Having established that zombies do wear lanyards and aardvarks generally don t, let us now consider whether badgers wear lanyards. Oh, wait. Sorry about that. Our topic today is not badger lanyards (which are actually quite popular at the University of Wisconsin) but rather Badge Lanyards.
As the late Gilda Radner s character, Emily Litella, would say, never mind. Fine, let us turn our attention to the matter of badge lanyards. Rather than furry little nocturnal mammals that are related to weasels, we ll discuss the simple little neck lanyard that holds an I.D. badges.
Truth be told, for most people, badge lanyards are actually a bit more useful than badgers wearing lanyards would be. After all, it s kind of difficult to train a badger to hold your I.D. badge. Lanyards are more likely to be willing to hang around your neck all day, and undoubtedly weigh less than the typical North American badger. Therefore, the badge lanyard would appear to offer a significant advantage in wearer comfort.
Badge lanyards are nothing more than a normal lanyard that has a badge holder attached to contain the requisite I.D. card or other item. They are a convenient way to keep I.D. badges readily visible at all times. Badge lanyards also prevent the need for wearers to fumble in pants or shirt pockets, briefcases, purses or wallets when they need to produce their I.D.
Given the fact that badgers generally don t wear pants or shirts, and don t carry wallets, briefcases or purses, it stands to reason that badgers would be among those who would most appreciate badge lanyards. However, it s questionable whether the badge lanyards would get caught in their paws while the badgers were digging up their food from the ground.
Badge lanyards, unlike badgers, also come in a variety of colors and materials. Badge lanyards can easily be customized to carry a marketing message, company logo or other imprinted material. Absent a can of spray paint and a very fast hand, it s quite difficult to customize a badger. Once again, advantage badge lanyards.
Badge lanyards are available with custom attachments for badge holders, cell phones, water bottles and other necessities. Badgers are stubbornly resistant to customization of this nature, rendering them generally unsuitable for any task other than their basic existential purpose digging holes and dining on small rodents.
For those seeking a trend in these matters, it would appear that badgers are not well suited to the office environment, and that badge lanyards generally make a far better choice for such workplaces. Unlike badgers, badge lanyards are not nocturnal and can function well at any hour of the day or night. Unlike badgers however, badge lanyards don t have a keen sense of smell. On the other hand, badge lanyards also aren t likely to dig up the office carpet looking for rodents, rabbits, squirrels, earthworms, insects, seeds or berries to eat.
Badgers aside, the basic badge lanyards are versatile, useful tools for the modern workplace. They re easily customizable for virtually any work setting and can be used as promotional items as well as enhancing workplace security. With those advantages, to misquote the famous movie line, Badgers We don t need no stinkin badgers. Unless of course, you re a student at the University of Wisconsin.
Badge Lanyards Vs. Badgers: Which Is Right For Your Workplace
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